Walking into the room, the voices echo around,
The faces of family and friends, their words spewing forth,
Yet the disconnect persists.
The fear lurking like a monster in the shadows.
Pulling me into its grip, severing the tie between the internal and the external world.
Deadened, severed, detached.
I stand, a meer shell of a person, observing, witnessing my life play out before my eyes.
My mind pulls me into its web of lies, fears and distractions.
The detachment deepens, penetrating into each moment.
The present is sprawled out before me, beauty and wonder at my fingertips,
Yet its beauty goes unnoticed to my naked eyes.
Withdrawn from the world, the shadow of fear dances before me,
Mocking me, for its tantalizing grip, steering me in every which way.
The thoughts, the voices in my head, lure me in.
Sucking the life out of me.
Reeling me in, I listen to the lies, the distractions swirling about.
The anxieties, the fears, the obsession.
The food, the exercise, the counting.
The manifestation of the pervasive fear hovering beneath the surface.
Concealed by a smile and tidy outer shell.
The brief moment of freedom presents itself,
Revitalizing my being, breaking free of the fear.
Breathing in, and breathing out, my mind fighting to stay afloat.
Regaining my sense of presence.
Going through the motions of life, waiting for the light within to ignite.
To stamp out the shadow of the night.
To cast away the fear that refuses to back down.
Instead, building like a fire smoldering in the night.
The fear dances before me.
My heart begging me not to give in,
To not believe the lies, the illusions, the facade.
To dance back into the light, to find this source within.
Breathing in, my mind relinquishes the fears,
Momentarily freeing up space for the moment to have its say.
The fear, shaking its head in amusement,
Laughing as it saunters away,
Dancing back into the shadow of the night.
