The Koru

The Koru is a Maori spiritual symbol meaning new life, creativity, personal growth and new beginnings.  This New Zealand fern plant represents the unfolding of new life, a subtle reminder that everything is reborn and continues.  It represents renewal and hope for the future.

The Koru is not only symbolic of this journey I am embarking on but of the life I have left behind.  Standing on the precipice, I left behind my family and friends as the fate of my home stood on the brink of disaster.  The Waldo Canyon fire swept through the foothills at a pace so rapid I am grateful for the life it did spare...the life of my family and friends.

The flames charged down the foothills behind my home, urging us to leave behind the majority of our material possessions.  I will never forget the image of the massive flames flickering in the rearview mirror as we drove away looking back on what would be the last view of our home and life as we knew it.  The fire took away my home, leaving behind only rubble and ash. The destruction this fire evoked will not be forgotten for many years to come.  The hiking trails I grew so accustomed to and maybe even took advantage of are now gone and exist only in my memory of life before the fire.

Leaving for New Zealand, not knowing if all was lost but expecting the worst, I drew upon a courage and strength I can only say came from something far powerful than I.  Fearful and unsure of what would happen to my family, I did all that I could do.  I put on a brave face, told them I loved them and walked to my gate without looking back.

Not knowing what I was leaving behind but knowing that what lay ahead could not wait any longer.  Going to New Zealand in the midst of all the destruction and hopelessness was nothing short of a challenge.  I boarded that plane, unsure of what I was leaving behind but sure of the fact that what lay ahead would restore the damage done.

I sit here now, two weeks into my journey and thankful of all that I have been given.  When something so precious and dear is taken away, new growth is just around the corner.  This journey has come at a time so precarious yet I do not for one minute regret taking this leap into the unknown.  I have lost a lot, but I have gained a lot as well.

So long have I waited for this opportunity to discover myself and to break free of the insecurities and doubts that have for so long plagued me.  The confidence I have felt these past few weeks since coming to New Zealand feels so right and yet so new.  For so long I've waited to shed these layers of fear and foreboding.  New Zealand has given me the opportunity for all that I've dreamed of: personal growth, self discovery, new beginnings and renewal.

The destruction of my home has left me with a sense of sadness and mourning, yet this despair has slowly transformed itself into an acceptance of that of which is beyond my control.  Life is constantly flowing, moving, transforming from moment to moment, leaving behind those who putter around, trapped in what has already happened and what cannot be undone.

 Life is ever changing, shifting and pulling us this way and that and our only job is to flow with life, acknowledging the moments when we resist and releasing this apprehension.  Change is inevitable and we can either put up a fight or welcome all that life has to offer just around the bend.  In this moment, I leave behind the destruction and rubble, welcome the momentous juncture of life's ever changing seasons and breathe in all that life has yet to unfold.