Have you ever wondered what it is about fear that penetrates into our everyday lives? Have you ever wondered how to overcome this fear, this anxiety that keeps us stuck in old habitual negative patterns of thinking and behaving? If you're predisposed to anxiety like myself, you may have asked yourself these same questions.
This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend an incredible workshop with my family. Led by Jim Vassallo, who was featured in Yoga Journal in 2006, this workshop revolved around the discussion of the origins of anxiety as well as how to implement practical tools to overcome this anxiety and fear that is so pervasive in our society today.
A group of about 12 gathered and we began by sharing some of our own fears. Many of these fears revolved around the future, money and failure. Coming from all walks and stages of life, it was eye-opening to see that at their core, all anxiety comes from a similar fear and a lack of faith. Jim began by discussing the origins of anxiety by outlining nine different sources and explanations of each:
1. Fear- the only way to overcome fears are to face them.
2. Lack of Action- fear prevents action. We need to get rid of anxiety by taking action (can be
as simple as going on a run, taking a walk, journaling, meditating, doing yoga, talking to a
friend...anything proactive to rid the body of the physiological effects of anxiety).
3. Toxic Environment- whether it be a stressful job, an unhealthy relationship, or just negative
environments, we feed off of what we are surrounded by. Even if we have the will,
our environment is stronger.
4. Being "here" but wanting to be "there"- in essence living in the future instead of the
present, always doing and working toward something instead of enjoying the simplicity and
beauty of each moment.
5. Trying to be someone we are not- in psychological terms this can be referred to as
dissonance (when who we are doesn't line up with how we're living our life).
6. Childhood Experiences- most if not all of us have had some sort of traumatic experience
of varying degrees that we have subconsciously repressed. We must revisit and release them.
7. Duality: Ego identity vs. True identity- the ego identity is along the lines of "I am a
student, a teacher, a perfectionist, a wife, a mom, a hard-worker". When you strip away this
mask, we are left with who we really are: spiritual beings having a human experience.
8. Adrenal Fatigue- the majority of Americans unknowingly suffer from this. It is brought on
by severe emotional stress coupled with nutritional deficiencies and result in the following
symptoms: fatigue, nervousness, phobias, inability to cope with stressful events, food cravings,
insomnia, food allergies and many others.
9. Poor Diet- need I say more?
After discussing the origins of anxiety and of course sharing our experiences with each along the way, we then discussed the 12 steps to overcome anxiety:
1. A steady yoga practice
2. Many hours of solitude and meditation
3. Keep a journal for self-study
4. Find a good therapist or person to talk to
5. Read spiritual books- the one you're supposed to read will find you:)
6. Avoid toxic people and situations - if this isn't completely feasible, work to build up an
invisible shield if you will to provide yourself with a protective boundary that the negativity
cannot permeate into.
7. Seek out like-minded people
8. Take action!
9. Simplify your life- get rid of the clutter!
10. Get a sense of humor- don't take yourself or life too seriously...I have to keep reminding
myself of this one:).
11. Take control of your own health- make any needed diet and lifestyle changes.
12. Find your true purpose- Align with who you really are and what your passions are.
The last tid bits of advice Jim gave us was to do what you love, which sounds easy but it's all too often we get stuck in the obligations of everyday life and the "to-do" list. So make time to nurture yourself whether it's by going on a hike, a run, journaling, writing poetry, singing, whatever it is do it! This will help to release blocked energy in what he referred to as the "Nadis". Lastly, when faced with a negative or stressful situation that may not be in line with who we are or when we are in a negative or challenging relationship we only have 3 choices:
1. Get out- if your happiness is suffering as a result and this situation or relationship
is just too much, you may have to simply leave the toxic situation or relationship.
2. Try to change it - if you think the situation or relationship can improve and there
is still hope, do your best to change it.
3. Accept it - if you simply cannot get out or cannot change it, surrender and
acceptance is the only option. Always remember surrender is not weakness:).
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
A Return to Love
Searching, yearning for something more.Looking to the world to fill the longing in my soul.
Thinking I would find the answer,
The answer to the emptiness I felt.
Rejection.
That is what the world gave me.
Why didn't they like me?
What was wrong with me?
I was looking for something.
Something to make me feel worthy, important, whole.
I turned to what I thought would be a safe haven.
The voice told me it would save me, protect me from the harsh reality of the world.
Empowered, in control, strong.
It gave me everything the world did not; security.
Control the food, the voice said. This is all you have.
Mold your body. This is your worth.
Love based upon conditions, external factors determined my worth.
Searching, yearning for something more.
Looking to the world to fill the longing in my soul.
Feeling defected, unworthy, unlovable, not good enough.
Attaching myself to these beliefs.
Looking to the world for love,
Coming up empty handed, rejected for who I was.
Where was this love I knew existed?
A journey away from love, away from myself.
The love and light within growing dimmer and dimmer.
Losing sight, losing myself.
The food gave me what the world could not.
Comfort, control, release, escape.
Escape from the anger, the hurt, the sadness, the loneliness.
But the escape was always temporary.
The longing in my soul has beckoned me to hear its call.
Whispering, nudging, hoping I'd hear its pleas.
You are good enough, you are lovable, the gentle voice said.
You are more than your body, more than the negative beliefs you harbor.
Only you have the power to change.
A journey back to love, back to myself has begun.
Slow and arduous it has been, a non-linear process.
Growing and learning each day, relearning how to love unconditionally.
Falling back in love with myself, relinquishing the control.
Learning to trust, to believe in myself, in the natural unfolding of life.
This journey has not been easy.
It has been the toughest path I've walked.
Yet, an imperfectly beautiful, empowering one at that.
The external world no longer holds the key to unlock the love within.
Infinite and flowing, this love exists within us all,
Waiting to be sought out.
Returning to this love, we find the answer to all life's questions:
The source of love is within.
Upon entering this world, we are full of infinite love.
Until one day we are conditioned to fear.
To safeguard this love, to lock it away and throw away the key.
But this love never abandoned us.
It never stopped seeking us out.
We must now listen to its call.
Searching, yearning for something more.
Turning my gaze inward I finally see.
The truth. The answer. The missing piece.
It is a journey we must all take, one of courage, determination and perseverance.
To choose yourself over anyone else is the greatest gift.
Falling back in love with the real you is where it all begins.
Taking the leap, trusting what is and letting go of the beliefs holding you back.
The journey is just beginning,
Starting with you and me;
A return to love.
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