A Day in the Life of an Ashram

It has only been three full days since I have been at the ashram but it already feels like I've been here for much longer. Waking up before the crack of dawn has been an adjustment to say the least. Each time I've heard the buzzing of my alarm, my body cries out in resistance, wishing it were elsewhere, free to sleep for just a few more hours.  Once I've gotten over my mini pity party of dragging myself out of bed, my hips and back sore from yoga and meditation the previous day, I grab ahold of the smallest bit of desire I can muster and gradually remember why I came here.

Each morning, I attend temple with the other staff and members of the ashram for a half hour of chanting in Sanskrit from what is called the "Guru Gita", an ancient Hindu scripture. Sanskrit is a foreignly beautiful, yet difficult to master language that has not come to flow off my tongue as quickly as the perfectionist in me would like.

After chanting, we sit for a half hour of silent meditation, which I thought would come a lot easier with my previous experience with it.  But, this morning, I found my knees and inner thighs were just not having it, probably due to the much more extended amount of sitting meditation I do here compared to back home.  Though it has been an adjustment battling the achy woes of my body, I am trying my best to be compassionate with myself.

After the morning practice, a mouth-watering breakfast is served. Without a doubt, the food here is the best food I have ever had.  All of their vegetables and herbs are grown here at the ashram and are not only so fresh tasting but delicious as well.  I've already noticed myself becoming more mindful around mealtime, really trying to savor each and every bite and slow down the process of sometimes mindless eating.

Between meals is "seva," or selfless service, which basically is how I am able to stay here for free.  In exchange for work, I am given food, housing and free access to yoga classes. My seva has consisted of cleaning the lodge, so a lot of sweeping, mopping, bathroom cleaning, laundry folding and general tidying up.  I have also been able to help out in the garden in the afternoons and learn more about the sustainability of the community.  It is encouraged to repeat mantras during work, which is basically a way to consciously bring awareness to the task at hand and bring presence to the breath.  The most common mantra encouraged is "Om Namah Shivaya", which translates to "I bow to Shiva." Shiva is the inner, true Self that dwells within us all.

Doing this mantra repetition has been an eye-opening experience thus far, as it gets me out of my head and pulls me out of the anxious ramblings of my mind. It also has made me aware of the pattern of my mind and desire to complete the project, whatever it may be, as quickly as possible.  When I've noticed this desire to rush through the task, going back to the mantra has helped to slow things down and bring my awareness back to the present.

In the afternoon, we are given a mere hour break of free time to either attend a hatha yoga class or do something else of our choosing.  I've mixed it up by doing yoga classes and going on a run or a hike.  This has been a bit challenging in choosing between the two, so I'm trying to alternate every other day. The obsessive runner in me has been a bit antsy but not as much as I expected.  I'm still trying to come to peace with giving up the "routine" of running for x amount of time each day and just be okay with the exercise I do get in.  The thoughts around food have lessened a bit as well, but I am still struggling to fully let go of the obsessive thoughts and just tune into what my body wants at a given moment.  I think I'm realizing how much effort and practice it takes to shift old patterns of habit, particularly strong ones like these.  But, I know all I can do is take it one day at a time and just keep moving forward.

Initially coming to the ashram caused a lot of anxiety within me.  I wasn't sure if I was doing the "right" thing by coming here or if the time was right. I still can't say exactly why I am here but I do know that this experience is going to be whatever it needs to be at this point in my life. I feel as though I have entered into another world here, an alternate reality if you will. The people here have formed a tight knit family of people who truly love one another and support each other along the path to God and inner enlightenment.  Most of the people have been living here for up to ten years or more. It's crazy, a bit intimidating, yet inspiring all the same to see that this really can be a lifestyle for those who truly desire and prioritize their inner growth.

It's still a bit overwhelming not knowing all the ins and outs of the ashram and the belief system but I have tried coming back to my intention before coming here, to be open to anything and everything.  I feel almost like a sponge, simply trying to absorb all the wisdom and knowledge from the elder staff.  And I know I can't expect to learn it all within three days, but I do want to get all I can out of this experience. Within the short time span that I have been here, I can say I've experienced the full array of emotions: the initial elation of coming here, frustration over the lack of focus and physical aches, confusion over why I am here and resistance to letting go of habitual thought patterns and behaviors.

I am still unsure of and a little resistant to the changes that I know are in store for me but I am trying to focus on letting this experience be whatever it needs to be and not get caught up in reasoning my way through it. So, here's to the next month or so of this journey I am on, a journey into the unknown, remaining present and open to whatever growth may occur, trusting that I am right where I need to be.